Monday, December 11, 2006
Its been a fun couple of months!
I am pleased to say that I’m feeling better.
if you've been following the last couple of blogs (and if not why not) you might remember that I have been signed off sick since the start of October with stress, and needed medication to help (diazepam for anxiety and temazepam for insomnia for the medics amongst you). I took them for a while as needed, but haven’t needed any for 2 weeks. I am now on holiday, before starting a new job as a school nurse, in a school with children with physical and learning difficulties. This will mean term time only working for me, which is a first. With the whole family off for the summer holidays we might even get to go to New York, before I'm to old feeble and forgetful to go!
I have had two courses of counselling, one funded by my union, and one arranged via work. Both have been valuable, and complimentary, as the two therapists have used different styles of therapy and helping. In the course of two or three sessions I have obtained a lot of insight into myself, my work and other relationships and begun to plan for my future.
One is very client centred (where the therapist lets the client set the agenda and offers little or no advice), and the other has a background in psychotherapy, and is much more interventionist. He will offer advice, opinions and direction. One of the first things he said to me was “don’t have other peoples illnesses for them”. He offered the opinion that the system was sick and the situation I was placed into was intolerable, the surprising thing being not that I had failed to cope, but that I had coped for so long.
With a difficult home situation at present, with three children all going through puberty, exams and having to live with each other. There is a lot of slamming of doors, shouting and loud music. There have been evenings where I have been very tempted to go to the pub to avoid going home for a while!
After 20 years NHS service, without any significant sickness until now I think I am probably due a sabbatical (I certainly won't be using any maternity leave!) As painful as the experiences have been, they have given me the chance to rest, reflect and to take stock of what is going on in my life and to consider the direction that I could go. What is it that makes me smile? What is it that only I can do?
The answers to the above questions will take a lot of thought, prayer, reflection and advice from others. Watch this space!
if you've been following the last couple of blogs (and if not why not) you might remember that I have been signed off sick since the start of October with stress, and needed medication to help (diazepam for anxiety and temazepam for insomnia for the medics amongst you). I took them for a while as needed, but haven’t needed any for 2 weeks. I am now on holiday, before starting a new job as a school nurse, in a school with children with physical and learning difficulties. This will mean term time only working for me, which is a first. With the whole family off for the summer holidays we might even get to go to New York, before I'm to old feeble and forgetful to go!
I have had two courses of counselling, one funded by my union, and one arranged via work. Both have been valuable, and complimentary, as the two therapists have used different styles of therapy and helping. In the course of two or three sessions I have obtained a lot of insight into myself, my work and other relationships and begun to plan for my future.
One is very client centred (where the therapist lets the client set the agenda and offers little or no advice), and the other has a background in psychotherapy, and is much more interventionist. He will offer advice, opinions and direction. One of the first things he said to me was “don’t have other peoples illnesses for them”. He offered the opinion that the system was sick and the situation I was placed into was intolerable, the surprising thing being not that I had failed to cope, but that I had coped for so long.
With a difficult home situation at present, with three children all going through puberty, exams and having to live with each other. There is a lot of slamming of doors, shouting and loud music. There have been evenings where I have been very tempted to go to the pub to avoid going home for a while!
After 20 years NHS service, without any significant sickness until now I think I am probably due a sabbatical (I certainly won't be using any maternity leave!) As painful as the experiences have been, they have given me the chance to rest, reflect and to take stock of what is going on in my life and to consider the direction that I could go. What is it that makes me smile? What is it that only I can do?
The answers to the above questions will take a lot of thought, prayer, reflection and advice from others. Watch this space!
Labels: anxiety, counselling, NHS
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
My life Since July until October
I haven't posted anything for a while, so I thought I would give a brief summary of the last 3 months. It might work better if you imagine this as one of those time lapse films eg "London to Brighton in 2 minutes", or a prologue in a 2 part TV drama, where a smooth voice says "Previously on (insert name of program).
Since my last post were have enjoyed/ survived the long 6 weeks holiday. My wife has a flexible hours contract so is able to take annual leave/ time owing over the summer so we do not have problems with childcare. I was able to take more time off than normal as I have reduced my hours to four days a week.
Highlights of the holiday included a trip to Southampton, where we stopped overnight at a Travel lodge and went exploring in the Hampshire area. We were a family of 4 as my son was stopping with his grandmother, so we fitted easily into a "family room". As a family of 5 we frequently find there is an assumption that families are 2 adults and 2 children and facilities/food stuffs and events price things accordingly. In hotels there is normally a pause and then a comment offering us two rooms or a fold up bed crammed in the corner. Natalie has a friend in the Southampton area so he came along with us.
We also went to Stowemarket to see my brother and his partner. We left after work, on the day that the major route to East Anglia from the Midlands had a major hold up and 30 miles of stationary traffic around Cambridge. We ended up driving to Luton and going on a detour from there... We arrived late, tired and hungry. My brothers partner produced a fantastic supper within minutes and a great cooked breakfast the next day. I can only compare it to the fantastic feasts described by Enid Blyton in the famous five books, where they call at a farmhouse and leave with a hamper full of stuff from the farmers wife (always without paying I seem to remember)
We went to France as usual for our main summer holiday. We spent nearly two weeks driving down to the Dordogne via Normandy and the Loire valley. We stopped for 4 days in Normandy, an night in the Loire, and then the rest of the time in caravan in the Dordogne.
My wife does the majority of the driving (as she is a terrible passenger) which leaves yours truly doing the navigating. This normally involves me sitting in the front seat, surrounded by pieces of paper and a map, trying to work out what "toutes directions" means and being shouted at. There is a scene in a film called the Incredibles which features a family of superheroes. Towards the end of the film Mr and Mrs Incredible have to drive into the city center to save the day, and they end up having an argument about which is the best way to get there. At this point in the film my children all started giggling and pointing saying "that's just like mom and dad!"
This year to try and avoid this we invested in a satellite navigation system and paid extra for the detailed map of France which I tried to install at the last minute. This was a mistake as the instillation software defaulted to using the drive with the biggest amount of space and installed the maps onto my portable hard drive at home. The sat nav had basic maps of France built in, so we could navigate between major towns and cities. It certainly helped except when we were directed onto a motorway that was in the process of being built. The unit then sulked for 5 miles, telling us repeatedly to turn around and go back in a school teacher sort of voice. Great I thought, another bossy woman in the car.....
My wife has been wanting to go the Dordougne for over 20 years, to explore the prehistoric painted caves of the region. They feature in the Clan of the Cave Bear series by Jean M Auel, and are linked to the religion and beliefs of the people of the books. So we spent 2 days going around painted caves, going to Lascaux and to Font de Gaume as well as exploring the region and relaxing around the pool. A relaxing and almost stress free holiday, apart from a 9 hour drive on the last but one day!
So it was home for school and work. I got home to discover that I was expected at work on the Monday. However, I was in France and not home until Tuesday morning so there was a lot of apologising to do oops!!
Since my last post were have enjoyed/ survived the long 6 weeks holiday. My wife has a flexible hours contract so is able to take annual leave/ time owing over the summer so we do not have problems with childcare. I was able to take more time off than normal as I have reduced my hours to four days a week.
Highlights of the holiday included a trip to Southampton, where we stopped overnight at a Travel lodge and went exploring in the Hampshire area. We were a family of 4 as my son was stopping with his grandmother, so we fitted easily into a "family room". As a family of 5 we frequently find there is an assumption that families are 2 adults and 2 children and facilities/food stuffs and events price things accordingly. In hotels there is normally a pause and then a comment offering us two rooms or a fold up bed crammed in the corner. Natalie has a friend in the Southampton area so he came along with us.
We also went to Stowemarket to see my brother and his partner. We left after work, on the day that the major route to East Anglia from the Midlands had a major hold up and 30 miles of stationary traffic around Cambridge. We ended up driving to Luton and going on a detour from there... We arrived late, tired and hungry. My brothers partner produced a fantastic supper within minutes and a great cooked breakfast the next day. I can only compare it to the fantastic feasts described by Enid Blyton in the famous five books, where they call at a farmhouse and leave with a hamper full of stuff from the farmers wife (always without paying I seem to remember)
We went to France as usual for our main summer holiday. We spent nearly two weeks driving down to the Dordogne via Normandy and the Loire valley. We stopped for 4 days in Normandy, an night in the Loire, and then the rest of the time in caravan in the Dordogne.
My wife does the majority of the driving (as she is a terrible passenger) which leaves yours truly doing the navigating. This normally involves me sitting in the front seat, surrounded by pieces of paper and a map, trying to work out what "toutes directions" means and being shouted at. There is a scene in a film called the Incredibles which features a family of superheroes. Towards the end of the film Mr and Mrs Incredible have to drive into the city center to save the day, and they end up having an argument about which is the best way to get there. At this point in the film my children all started giggling and pointing saying "that's just like mom and dad!"
This year to try and avoid this we invested in a satellite navigation system and paid extra for the detailed map of France which I tried to install at the last minute. This was a mistake as the instillation software defaulted to using the drive with the biggest amount of space and installed the maps onto my portable hard drive at home. The sat nav had basic maps of France built in, so we could navigate between major towns and cities. It certainly helped except when we were directed onto a motorway that was in the process of being built. The unit then sulked for 5 miles, telling us repeatedly to turn around and go back in a school teacher sort of voice. Great I thought, another bossy woman in the car.....
My wife has been wanting to go the Dordougne for over 20 years, to explore the prehistoric painted caves of the region. They feature in the Clan of the Cave Bear series by Jean M Auel, and are linked to the religion and beliefs of the people of the books. So we spent 2 days going around painted caves, going to Lascaux and to Font de Gaume as well as exploring the region and relaxing around the pool. A relaxing and almost stress free holiday, apart from a 9 hour drive on the last but one day!
So it was home for school and work. I got home to discover that I was expected at work on the Monday. However, I was in France and not home until Tuesday morning so there was a lot of apologising to do oops!!
Labels: anxiety, family. live music, holidays
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Is it that long?
I have always enjoyed reading accounts of peoples lives and their blogs. Here is my bottle thrown into the digital cyber ocean.
I have contributed to the one day in history blog, which is a project to create the biggest blog in history for the use of future historians and as a record of life in Britain in 2006 (for further details see http://www.historymatters.org.uk/output/page96.asp) but have repeated it here for my own blog.
I noted that I havent posted anything since July, where does the time go? In my case in the normal everyday round of work, family church and stuff.
Today was an unusual day as I have been signed of sick for 4 weeks with stress. I have had medication which has helped. I am trying to avoid taking any medication, but managing it myself with relaxation, guided thoughts and prayer. There is no one big reason why I am feeling like this, just a chronic buildup of stress at home and at work. I am planning to spend my time relaxing and catching up on all the things that you usually don't have time for, like writing something in my blog.....
So instead of going to work I went driving around doing jobs, went to a first appointment with my counselor. I collected a match ticket for my team Aston Villa, delivered it to a friend, and then treated myself to a fantastic sandwich from the best sandwich shop in Birmingham called Phipott's. I had a coronation chicken sandwich and a prawn and avacado wrap, ate half of each and saved the rest for today.
Then did some housework and spent time with the family. Dropped my daughter off at a church children's group and then went to a prayer meeting. My faith is very important to me and is really helping at the moment. A small group of us meet together monthly to pray for two particular people involved in missionary work The group has developed into a support mechanism for the people involved and we have seen prayers answered and God moving in a mighty way
Bed at about 1130 without any sleeping pills which was good
I have contributed to the one day in history blog, which is a project to create the biggest blog in history for the use of future historians and as a record of life in Britain in 2006 (for further details see http://www.historymatters.org.uk/output/page96.asp) but have repeated it here for my own blog.
I noted that I havent posted anything since July, where does the time go? In my case in the normal everyday round of work, family church and stuff.
Today was an unusual day as I have been signed of sick for 4 weeks with stress. I have had medication which has helped. I am trying to avoid taking any medication, but managing it myself with relaxation, guided thoughts and prayer. There is no one big reason why I am feeling like this, just a chronic buildup of stress at home and at work. I am planning to spend my time relaxing and catching up on all the things that you usually don't have time for, like writing something in my blog.....
So instead of going to work I went driving around doing jobs, went to a first appointment with my counselor. I collected a match ticket for my team Aston Villa, delivered it to a friend, and then treated myself to a fantastic sandwich from the best sandwich shop in Birmingham called Phipott's. I had a coronation chicken sandwich and a prawn and avacado wrap, ate half of each and saved the rest for today.
Then did some housework and spent time with the family. Dropped my daughter off at a church children's group and then went to a prayer meeting. My faith is very important to me and is really helping at the moment. A small group of us meet together monthly to pray for two particular people involved in missionary work The group has developed into a support mechanism for the people involved and we have seen prayers answered and God moving in a mighty way
Bed at about 1130 without any sleeping pills which was good
Labels: anxiety, aston villa, blog, church
